Last time I posted about this castle project I went off on a weird tangent about medieval contractors and the hassles they must have faced during construction.
This time as I was taking the finished pictures I was reminded of a real estate agent trying to get staging shots for a listing. Man, imagine how hard it woulda been for one of those guys or gals in the Dark Ages!
I Imagine their positive spin to go something like this:
A must see!! Property includes freshly dug courtyard well, perfect for those long sieges!
Grounds also include charming and cosy guest castle. Ideal for hosting the in-laws!!
Personalized castle decor (owner willing to negotiate redecoration pending new coat of arms)
Friendly neighbourhood dragon! (Note: friendliness not guaranteed.)
Completely unrelated to the above notation – Buyer is advised to obtain fire insurance.
Large upper storey picture windows – great views out of all windows. Be advised: due to recent accidental defenestration buyers are recommended to remain six feet back from windows at all times.
For all you Harry Potter fans out there – property comes with moving staircases! In fact thanks to plastic dowel construction they pop right out!
This is your dream house! Close to fairgrounds, jousting pitch and serf’s village!! Only hours to the king’s road!!
Yup, castles musta been a bitch to unload! Fortunately I can report in modern times that is no longer the case – this went over like gangbusters with my little guy!
And finally just for the fun of it let’s take a look at how far we’ve come.
Oh yeah, much better! Now, who’s up for some dragon wrangling?